The Rescue
by Chris4Short
Summary: Sam is left dealing with the consequences of Daniel's latest theory. Grounded at the base and unable to rescue Daniel, is the pair able to find one another anyway? SamDaniel
1. Not Leaving Anyone Behind

_I come back from non-posting to bring you fic... AAAHHH HHAHAA (coughs) Right. Hope my hiatus was worth it, and I present to with my new creation... Enjoy_

Set in Season: 10 (second half)

Spoilers: None but the second half of S10/posted spoilers of upcoming eps. (which most I have not seen, so consider it more like an AU in parts or whole)

Summery: Sam is left dealing with the consequences of Daniel's latest theory. Grounded at the base and unable to rescue Daniel, are the pair able to find one another anyway?

Pair: Sam/Daniel (sniggles them)

* * *

I was pacing the General's office like a caged cat; I felt like a caged cat. I felt like my claws were ready to be bared the moment I got the wrong answer.

"You are going to wear a trench in the carpet if you keep that up," Cam said, with amusement. I stopped and looked at him. He wore a smile of slight success. I did not stop because of his words, rather how it flooded my mind with the words of a man who had said those exact words so many times to me while I was in the very same office.

I closed my eyes and turned away... and went back to pacing. I heard the door open and looked up. General Landry was looking back at me with a sad smile. No.

"No," I breathed, feeling my claws come out. "No." I felt the fury come leaping from the depths of my soul as I launched past Landry and gripped the door frame, facing the stoic faces that looked up at me in surprise from the briefing table. The same table I, we, _he_, sat at just 48 hours before.

"How dare you! You are willing to leave a good man – a man who has helped let your sorry asses even sit in those chairs – go? You will deny us the satisfaction of going in and rescuing one of our own?!" I was raging. I felt my fingers go white from gripping the frame; I would have loved to let go and show them this kind, intelligent and capable, down to earth, Colonel would and could have them all as lunch, and then have their bosses for dinner.

A firm hand gripped my shoulder. "Sam. Stand down."

I pulled from Cam's grip and glared at the men and women who _dared_ to come into _my_ base and tell _me_ that _I_ could not rescue my _best friend_. "You all sit in your ivory, Washington-law laden offices while we, _we_, go out _day after day_ and rescue your sorry asses from total annihilation. We have always gone after our own. _We do not leave anyone behind_. Why deny that now?"

"Colonel."

"What? You don't like his latest theory? You think finding the weak spot of the Ori is endangering your plushy cushions?"

"Colonel," Landry said this time.

I hung my head, letting the two men pull me back into the office. Letting the tears that welled up in my eyes spill down my cheeks, I stood there, General Landry on my left and Colonel Cameron Mitchell on my right. I felt Teal'c move closer and imagined Vala was unsure what to do.

"SG-1, you are on stand down for three days. I order you, each of you, to sessions with Dr. Righnhard. He will help you," Landry said, squeezing my shoulder before letting go. I nodded slightly, not seeing, not hearing, and not feeling anything. Cam wrapped his arm loosely around my waist – I fought the urge to melt into his side which, if he had been another man, would be second nature – and guided me out of the office, off the level and then into my quarters.

"I'll have Dr. Lam come by and give you something," Cam said as I sat on my bed. "Sam?" he asked, pausing.

I barely nodded.

"He will be ok. We will get him back, no matter what _they_ say. We are a team, and we don't leave anyone behind," Cam said, almost pounding the door for emphasis.

"Even so…"

He cut me off by kneeling before me. "Especially now. He got into this because of his theory, and we will get him out because we are stronger than any theory. We are proof he needs to come back." He placed a hand on my shoulder again and whispered, "_You_ are the reason he needs to come back. You need each other. I don't understand why you stay away from the obvious."

I did not answer – could not answer – which was just as well since with that he swiftly got to his feet and breezed out the door. Getting Dr. Lam was his way of coping, showing he cared deeply. I stared at the door until Dr. Lam came, thanking him for his strength and voiced determination.

"If he only knew", I cried into my pillow as I felt myself fall into the black abyss I was sure Daniel was in also.


	2. Snow Picnic

_"A picnic?" I asked. He stood on my porch, winter coat firmly bundled around him, smiling._

"Sure why not?" He smiled wider, holding up the basket. "It's packed all I need is my date."

I blushed. His date? I glanced past him to see if he had anyone else with him. He looked amused. "I'm here for you, Sam. Can I come in? It's sort of cold out here."

I pushed the door wider, watching as he stomped the still clinging snow off his combat boots. He wore combat boots. I watched as he strode confidently to my kitchen and placed the basket down. He was taking off his jacket and talking.

"... I know it's the middle of winter, but why should a picnic be exclusively a warm weather activity?" Daniel said, as I walked into the kitchen. He was taking out plastic forks and knives, two plates and a few containers.

"It's cold outside."

_He looked up and smiled again. "I know. That's why I brought a thick blanket."_

"We are really eating outside? On the snow?"

"Well not on the snow. I think you still have the folding lawn chairs from when Jack had his little BBQ here in August. We will sit on those," Daniel said, putting some food on the two plates. "If it gets too cold, we can move inside."

"I have to admit, I have never been asked to a snow picnic."

"Well now you can say you have," Daniel said, balancing the plates and tucking the blanket under his arm. I set the chairs up, kicking some of the snow off the deck, as Daniel gave me one of the plates.

He sat down and sighed. I looked at him and wondered what was wrong, but the way he sat and stared around my back porch, I knew it was not one of hurt or worry, but rather a content, satisfied, almost like he felt he was finally home, sigh.

I sat next to him and we began to eat and talk. We talked about the latest discoveries we each were working on, how our house cleaning endeavors were going, how I was finding time to rebuild part of my motorcycle and how he was beginning to write more academic, non-classified, articles to begin to merge back into academia. A few friends who had seen him a while back had asked if he was doing anything interesting or important, and he really wanted to contribute to his field, even if he had to omit much of what he knew was fact. We laughed as we recounted what we were doing before SG-1 and the Stargate project had called us both. It felt like the early years when we were still just learning about each other.

I shivered a bit as Daniel took the plates and set them aside. Daniel shifted the blanket from the back of our chairs to my shoulders. I blushed and looked away as I noticed how his blue sweater matched his eyes. The observation was innocent; the feeling that I felt when I noticed was not.

"You look beautiful, Sam," Daniel said softly. I glanced back at him and saw a soft smile on his lips. "No matter where you are, you are so beautiful."

Another blush was creeping up my cheeks. Daniel never said things like that to me before. "Thanks," I said, trying to still my sudden pounding heart.

It had begun to snow, and now the wind shifted, sending some flakes on the blanket. He brushed a wayward snow flake off my eyelid and seemed to want to say something else. I looked at him, ready to hear his next words, not wanting the flattery to stop. Not since Pete had I been told I was beautiful. Instead he said something words could never describe...

He pushed me deep into the snow that was now suddenly swirling, swirling, faster and faster, a blizzard falling around me. He came through the snow and glared down at me, laughing at me... suddenly aiming his weapon at me.

I woke with a scream, tangled in the sheets of my bed, at the SGC, sweat clinging to my body, and tears rolling down my face. I scrubbed my face and yanked the sheets, kicking them off from around my feet. I stumbled to the bathroom and leaned into the sink, willing my legs to stay under me. I stared at my reflection, knowing my red, puffy eyes would be hard to conceal.

I turned and sank down to the hard tiles of the bathroom. My dream was not real - never could be real - I kept telling myself. In reality he had kissed me, not tried to kill me. I hugged my legs against my chest and tried to hang on to the kiss even as my dream overtook my mind.

Daniel had fallen into the abyss and I wondered if I had glimpsed a part of it.


	3. Words Unspoken

I saw Dr. Righnhard later in the afternoon and wondered why he was still smiling after I told him my dream. I did not tell him that the events up until Daniel shoving me into the snow and pointing his weapon at me, really did take place. I didn't think anyone should know how soft Daniel's lips were and how he seemed to never let me go when we huddled under the blanket and watched the stars come out.

He handed me a piece of paper as I left. "Dr. Lam will give you this. This is just a mild sedative to help you sleep. If you have any further dreams, please don't hesitate to come back before your next session," Dr. Righnhard said.

I thanked him, but wondered what he was expecting to happen between now and the next session in 24 hours. I rode the elevators to the infirmary and found Dr. Lam in her office.

"Colonel Carter," she said, looking up from a folder. "Please, come in."

I smiled and sat down. Her office was the same one Janet had used, but seemed more clinical, less inviting. There was a picture of her rock climbing but that was the only personal picture in the office. Of course I did not have a lot of personal pictures in my office either, just of the team from some of our "nights out" and one of me, Dad, Mark and his family from a few Christmas' ago.

"A sedative?" Dr. Lam asked, looking up from the prescription. "Did the pills not work?"

"No, they worked fine. I just had a nightmare and Dr. Righnhard thought it would be best if I took something stronger for a few nights so I don't have another one."

She nodded. "Come with me, and I can get it for you."

I followed her out to the medicine closet, stocked with a hospital worth of liquids, pills and syringes. The infirmary had to be ready for anything; prepared to hospitalize and treat hundreds of patients at a moment's notice I once more thanked her and walked to my quarters, pausing for a second outside Daniel's room. I dropped my meds on my night stand and decided to try to do some work for the day.

Once more I paused outside Daniel's room; I swore I heard someone talking from within. I went to the door and put my ear against it. It was wedged open by a balled up piece of fabric. I heard someone talking and pulled my hand away from the fabric.

"I should have known you would be making such a stupid move, Jackson," Cam's voice came again. "I should have left Sam with the rest and doubled back, help you fight Adria. I should never have believed you when you said you were right behind us. Damn it Jackson! How could you have been so stupid?!"

I backed away and fought the tears. Cam was voicing what I am sure we all wante to say: Daniel should have told us what he wanted to do. He told us of his theory before we had encountered the Ori again, but we could not believe he'd end up testing it; testing it once Adria had showed up once more with a dangerous proposition.

I should have known what he was going to do. I saw it in his eyes as he looked back at me, how he seemed to say he was sorry, begging for my forgiveness when we were exiting the cave and he said he had forgotten his book in the cave. I should have run after him, tackled him, and yelled at him.

I knew he did not carry any books on this mission. I knew because he told me the night before, after everyone left, after he told us his theory. He said he never wanted anyone to know what he had thought should something happen. He said he never wanted any one of us to have to deal with the backlash of his musings. I should have stopped him when I saw his eyes soften as he looked at me, making me forget, making me remember how he had touched my face and kissed my lips as the snow fell around us.


	4. The Plan

_"But just think," Daniel said, spreading his hands to stop Cam's words. "If the Ori need to have a person convert in order to maintain their power, then couldn't someone become a convert and from the inside use that power against them?"_

We sat back and thought about it. "I don't think that is how it works, Jackson," Cam said after a moment. "That person has to be damn sure they know what they are doing, not to mention damn strong enough not to be totally taken over by the Ori."

"That person must accept that they could be wrong and be lost," Teal'c said solemnly. "It is not a task for the weak."

"Well then, I know I will not be asked to do it," Vala said, picking up a stone and throwing it into the fire.

"I know it would have to be someone who was grounded, deeply grounded, in what they believe, and that belief would have to be fundamentally opposite the Ori. They would also have to realize it's a risk," Daniel paused and looked at Cam. "A risk that could help us defeat them."

"We are not talking about dropping a man behind enemy lines, Jackson. Your theory means that whoever would be crazy enough to try to test this, has to be a kamikaze. They would be turned into the enemy, no matter what their intentions going in would be. They would have to become the enemy to fool the enemy."

"Well, I know it's a lot more dangerous what your theory proposes, but it's not unlike undercover detectives. I mean there are some out there who are planted within gangs or the Mob -" I started.

"What is the Mob?" Vala interrupted.

"Later," Cam said. "Go on."

"Well, they are good guys, disguised as bad guys so that they can get in deep and find out things only members would know. What Daniel is proposing -"

"Theorizing," corrected Cam.

"...Theorizing, is that someone would be deep, deep undercover in the Ori... operation if you will. They would become the enemy to be accepted as one, and learn how they work, and be able to tell us how to defeat them if we can't find Merlin's device," I finished.

"That is supposing whoever does this **can** come back and communicate with us," Cam said. "I don't like the idea. Jackson, keep the theory as a theory and we will find Merlin's device. I am not going to ask anyone to do that when Merlin has already made something that can destroy the Ori."

Daniel had nodded and we all went back to talking about the tactics we had learned over the course of the last few encounters with the Ori. With Vala being Adria's mother, it seemed as if she had become a bit less cautious when Vala was around. Adria acted like a child needing her mother's approval; of course Vala was just stubborn enough not to give any indication she would ever approve of Adria's rather far-reaching and scary ideas. Adria, I was sure, would never harm Vala as long as both were alive. She wanted her mother to convert, to have the approval. But neither would happen as long as Vala had a say in the matter.

After Cam and the rest of the team had turned in, I was up for the first watch. Daniel sat beside me and handed me a fresh cup of coffee. No matter that we were off world, chocolate and coffee were always at the ready.

"I think I scared Mitchell," Daniel said at last.

"I think you scared most of us. I think the hardest part is the reverting back to a non- believer. Who's to say they will not find out? Who's to protect the person who tests your theory when the Ori find out that they have a double agent?" I asked, staring at his profile. "I wouldn't let anyone risk their lives like that. The risk of being found out, of being converted totally..."

We fell into silence. The silence stretched on as the two of us reflecting on the past day, on what Daniel had said. I was thinking about the last place we had to scout before going back to the Stargate. The locals had said they no longer performed their celebrations at that spot since a man who spoke of doom had shown up. Cam had told the villagers we would scout it out. We all knew we would be facing another Ori Prior in the morning.

"Thank you," Daniel said suddenly.

"For what?" I asked.

"For ... everything. I don't think I could have survived all the things we have gone through without knowing you were there. I don't think I would have ever been able to keep facing evil if I did not have such goodness next to me.

I smiled at him and leaned my head on his shoulder. "I don't think I could have been next to anyone else fighting evil. We make a good team, Doc."

As he chuckled, I felt it vibrate through his body. He wrapped an arm around me and whispered, "That we do. I can't think of anyone else I would rather be teamed up with when fighting a problem. You're so smart, Sam, so determined. You make us all rise to a higher place so we can just keep up with you; another thing that makes you so beautiful." He kissed the top of my hair, and then rested his cheek on my head. "I have the next shift and it starts," he pulled the sleeve of my arm up and turned my wrist to check the watch, "now. So you close your eyes and get some sleep. We have a lot to do tomorrow."

I fell asleep in his arms, only waking up when I felt the cool morning breeze and his body heat gone.

Gone. I looked up at the shower head and squinted, watching the last drop of water make a slow descent down to the small puddle at my feet. It made a 'plink' sound and I looked back up at the shower head. I took my hand away from the handle and tugged a towel around me, watching the last bits of dirt swirl down the drain.

I had slept sounder but with dreams still plaguing me. I decided they were not worth mentioning to the doctor when I saw him. No one needed to know that Daniel had almost confessed to following through on his theory himself to me. I did not need Cam finding out and storming in, demanding why I did not stop Daniel, or let him know.

I don't even have an answer to that.

Slipping on a pair of pants and a top, I reached for my boots. I paused when I saw the small picture of Daniel and myself when we went to Jack's cabin. Jack had insisted we use up a roll of 34 pictures to "document the occasion." I picked it up and sat on the edge of my bed, tracing Daniel's features and imagining that day once more. I almost laid back to dream of the day when a knock on the door interrupted me.

"Yes?" I asked as Cam turned around.

"He's been spotted, Sam. He made it. We don't know how he is doing though," Cam said, placing a hand on my shoulder. "We are still on stand down and Landry is not letting us go, but Sam, we can be there for the briefing."

I nodded, understanding Landry's orders were still in effect. We were his team and we all cared about Daniel – _I _cared about Daniel. "At least we can sit in on the briefing. When is that?"

"SG-17 is due back in 30 minutes."

I closed the door to my room and hiked my chin up. "Okay, well, I'll be in my lab just working on some things then."

Cam left me to ride the elevator to my lab in silence. I passed two of my scientists in a heated argument on the positions of Orion and the corresponding planets and moons during the summer solstice on P2X-4903. I locked myself in the lab and sat on my stool, staring at the computer as it cycled through the pictures of my screensaver. I tried to read a few reports as I waited but found it hard to keep my mind on solar refractions in linear time dilations.


	5. It Looked Like Daniel

"...It looked like Dr. Jackson, but it did not speak like Dr. Jackson," Major Frankes said, crossing his arms. "I don't know what you were thinking, letting him do that to himself. He could have gotten us killed."

Cam unclenched his fist. "We did not 'let' him do this. He did this behind our backs. You think I would have let him do this if we knew?"

"No, but he does have a track record of making hasty decisions and then asking for forgiveness afterwards," the major challenged.

"No argument there. But he still is on my team, and he was doing something to help all of us."

"I think Daniel was getting impatient with all the frivolous searching for Merlin's weapon," Vala quipped behind me.

I swung around, Cam not far behind, and stared at her. "Jackson was doing the best thing he could to give us alternatives. The Ori are closing in on us and backing us into a corner," Cam said, taking a step toward Vala. "Jackson was merely helping us find a way to defeat them."

"I would be careful what you say, Miss Mal Doran," Landry said from where he stood beside the coffee pot. "Dr. Jackson may have acted rashly but he is still a member of this base, no matter if he looks like the enemy. We don't leave anyone behind."

I closed my eyes and held back the tears. Landry stood, squaring his shoulders and stirring his coffee, looking at each one of us. "We know where he has been. Do we know where he will be next?" Major Frankes shook his head. "Very well, we can make our best guess then. Colonels Carter, Mitchell and Dr. Lee get together and study the tactics and patterns of the Ori as they have been crossing the galaxy. Teal'c, I want you to take SG-17 and SG-19 and get them ready."

"What about our remaining one day of down time?" Vala asked.

"Rescinded. SG-1: you're cleared for duty."


	6. The Change

_"You think you can defeat the Ori?" Adria said, eyes dancing with challenge._

_"I know we can defeat the Ori," Cam said, holding his gun at his side, inching it slowly up. "We have proof that a weapon exists and will wipe out all of the Ori. And to top it off, we are close to getting it in everyone's hands."_

_Adria's eyes darted over the five of them. "You bluff."_

_"No, Adria, we really can destroy the Ori," Vala said, stepping beside me. I saw her eyes soften for a moment; destroying the Ori would mean destroying Adria also. "I don't want you to become lost to me, Adria. Please, stop this war and give up the powers and we can protect you."_

_Adria stepped closer; Daniel stepped closer as well. She seemed to think the offer over, weighing it against what she knew. Finally, almost touching Vala, Adria smiled._

_"You want me to give this up? You want me to become a worthless, helpless, powerless… slob like you? I offer enlightenment, Mother. I alone am offering you a chance to see the galaxy and know what it is like to have true power. I know you had a taste when you were inhabited by the Goa'uld; I can give you that and more," Adria said, backing away once more, deeper into the cave. "That and more."_

_Vala shook her head and said softly, "No one here seeks to corrupt the galaxy except you."_

_Adria paused and smiled, a wide, wicked smile. "Then I have no competition and your destruction will come swiftly." With that, she turned and walked away, deeper into the cave._

_Cam pulled Vala back as she started after her. "No, it's not worth it. We have reasoned with her all we can today. Next time. Next time we may have the weapon and show her she is wrong." Vala nodded weakly and let Cam lead her back to the cave mouth._

_Daniel took a look down at the tunnel down which Adria had disappeared, finally turning to face me as we trailed after Teal'c. "I wish there was a way to rescue her; all of them obviously, but her especially."_

_I nodded and placed a hand on his arm, smoothing the wrinkles from his jacket. "I know, Daniel, I know."_

_He looked down at me, and I knew if we were not on a mission, trailing Teal'c, and off world, he would have kissed me. In that moment, I didn't care, but he was at least thinking and wrapped his arm around me and hugged me close. "Thank you."_

_We exited the cave and saw Vala nodding and wiping her eyes on the back of her sleeve, Cam patting her on her back. Teal'c cautiously surveyed the surrounding brush, sure that none of the village people had followed, but not as sure as to the Ori warriors. I felt Daniel pull his arm back and I glanced at him as he sheepishly smiled. One day I hoped to be able to walk around, everyone knowing that we had finally talked, and although the worlds "I love you" hadn't made it onto either one of our lips, it was there in everything we didn't say._

_"Um, I think I forgot something," Daniel started, still looking at me. His eyes softened and he placed a hand on my arm. He looked past me for a moment, taking in each member and then returning to me. "I left my notebook back there. I – we can't have Adria find it. You all go ahead, I can catch up with you guys; it will not take long. I think I know exactly where I left it."_

_"It's almost sun down, Jackson," Cam said, looking over toward us. He sighed and nodded. "Hurry. The last thing I want is the enemy knowing about this stuff."_

_Daniel gave me one last squeeze on the shoulder and turned around and left. He went deeper into the cave. He did turn once to smile at me…_

… _His crystal blue eyes telling me everything I needed to know; telling me I could not follow him._

And now I couldn't even follow him down into the abyss we were about to face to find him. I woke up the next morning soaking wet with sweat and still trembling. I should have run into the cave and given him a hug; a kiss; voice the one thing we both needed to hear in the darkness.

"Oh Daniel," I sobbed into my blanket. "Oh how I love you. I love you so much. I guess you always knew that. But to say it … I just want to say it once, just once to you. Even if I never get to hold you again, I want you to know how much I love you."


	7. Conversion pt 1

I laced my boots up, hanging my head down as Cam and Teal'c talked about the mission – a rescue mission if at all possible. I finished and tucked the laces in my boots, shoving my pants into the boots and stood up. Cam handed me a vest and a P-90.

"Sam," Cam said. It sounded like a question almost.

"Let's go."

He held my gaze for a moment. "Let's go."

It would have been slightly easier to walk through the Stargate if we knew for sure we were stepping out into a combat zone. I wavered a bit as I stepped through the gate; would I fling myself before a bullet or an Ori weapon if it meant my bleeding heart would stop? Would that bring me closer to Daniel? I blinked and lowered my sunglasses; the day was too sunny and bright to be a combat day. I mused as I fell behind Cam that it was if the day had demanded today to be spent living.

"I can see trees," Vala quipped as she came sprinting back to us. She had scouted with SG-3. "Oh and a village. Major Cooper said that there could be Prior activity down there." She giggled. "Get it? Prior activity?"

Cam and I looked at Vala as we went on. Vala shrugged and fell in step with us. My heart went up a notch. Priors? Already? This had been the third place we had looked in two days, and we had managed to run into them. I shook my head slightly; of course we would have spotted the priors. I should be surprised that we hadn't already found them on the first planet.

We joined SG-3 soon in the tree line and surveyed the village below. "Anything?" Cam asked.

Everyone shook their heads. We crouched in the bushes and brush; there wasn't much else we could do. I placed my P-90 across my chest, hooking it to my vest and repositioned my cap. Cam passed a canteen around and I slumped back to wait.

_"I am loyal, I see the Path of Enlightenment so clearly," Daniel said, his hands spread before him, pleading. "I deny everything I was before. I commit myself to the way of the Ori."_

Adria narrowed her eyes, searching Daniel. After a pregnant pause, she stepped closer to Daniel, her eyes gleaming in victory. "Welcome to the Ori, my follower."

Daniel was forced to his knees and the darkness of the cave melted away as Adria summoned the all-consuming fire to where they were. Daniel closed his eyes; he was going under. He grabbed a handful of dirt and clung to it as it slowly slipped out of his hand, the fiery flames becoming brighter and brighter, hotter and hotter until he was forced to set his gaze into the leaping orange and red blaze; forced to lock the small part of his soul into a far away room and let it be his last refuge of good, his anchor.

Daniel screamed as the wave of pain hit him and he felt so consumed by the fire and the knowledge he was sure the Ori had found his small room of joy and had broken him completely.

And then it was still.

I woke with a start.

"Sam."

I looked at Cam and blinked the sleep out of my eyes. "Yeah, I'm here."

"You had another nightmare," Cam said, looking over his shoulder at the rest of the team.

"No, this was different. Most of my nightmares have been, um, based on real events." I paused and licked my lips. "This one was not one I have experienced in reality."

Cam's eyebrow mimicked Teal'c's.

"I saw..." I started."I saw Daniel become a Prior."

"You sure?"

"Yes. Daniel has told me many times about what he was shown when he was with the Ori, linked to Vala last year. It was exactly what it looked like except," I paused, trying to remember, "...except it looked like it happened in the cave."

Cam studied me for a moment. "In the cave?"

"He could have come after us if he wanted to. He was... converted and then stayed in the cave. With Adria," I finished in a small voice.

Cam studied my face for a moment. "Alright, let's camp here for a bit, keep our eyes and ears peeled and we will go from there." He looked at the men behind him and then turned back to me. "How are you getting this, Sam? How..." he paused, searching for words.

"I think Daniel's and my friendship have somehow bonded us. I think that's why I am getting these nightmares. They are not all bad, but they are... disturbing."

Cam studied me once more before patting my arm and going over to where Vala and a group of soldiers stood. I felt so useless sitting by the tree. I felt like I had let them all down for zoning out. I got up and dusted my pants off; I was here to help find Daniel, and I was not doing that by sitting around doing nothing.

I must have taken no more than three steps before I felt myself once more on the ground. I saw and heard the other men come rushing toward me but the powerful urge to be pulled into the abyss took over me.


	8. Conversion pt 2

_"They need to be shown the way by someone they trust," Daniel argued. "They will not believe unless I show them. They will see how Origin has made me better and will soon know the Path of Enlightenment for themselves."_

The Doci looked over Daniel with his fiery eyes. "Very well. Seek them."

Daniel turned his pale, unseeing, yet all seeing eyes back toward the door and walked swiftly, purposely toward his destination. He paused in his quarters for a moment and caught his thoughts. What was the purpose of these feelings he had for the unbelieving? He remembered his former life in glimpses, but the flooding of emotions toward the small sect of non-believers that he was convinced he, and only he, could convert was powerful.

He sat on the edge of the bed for a moment. He felt... joy, love, acceptance, unity; things he was not aware of when he was with his Brethren. It was as if a small doorway was opening and trying to show him what he had before the Ori found him and brought him into the Light. He shook his head slightly; an image of a woman still remained: Short blonde hair, ready smile, quick thoughts, and gentle hands all consumed him in a moment and set him doubling over on the floor.

"I need you," a voice said. "Please, Daniel, I love you. Gawd, how I love you. I need you to come back. Your place is with us."

Daniel held his head in his hands as he rocked, prostrated on the ground trying to recite the Book of Origin over the voice in his head. He must have been in the position for hours until the voice faded and his firm belief that the unbelievers had to be converted took hold of him once more.

I woke up with tears streaming down my face. Had I really been able to talk back to Daniel? It did not feel like I had possessed his body, like Vala had done when she was communicating from the Ori galaxy. I wiped a hand down my face, careful to not tangle the lines from the IV. I looked up; I must have really given everyone a scare for them to put me on an IV.

"ColonelCarter" a familiar voice said softly. I shifted to see Teal'c sitting beside my bed. "I am glad you are awake. Do you need me to alert Dr. Lam that you are awake?"

"No, I think that can wait for a moment," I said, looking at the ceiling.

"Very well," Teal'c said, with a smile in his voice. I smiled too; only Teal'c and Daniel would let me rest for a moment before the onslaught of doctors overran the room. I turned away as more tears welled up.

"Teal'c? When Daniel was ascended, you said he came to... " why was it so hard to still say after all these years? "...visit you; he gave you the idea to find the General." I turned back to Teal'c to see him nod. "Did you ever have that feeling of being taken over by the experience?" I closed my eyes; that was not the best explanation.

"No I did not. It felt as if he was... near me."

I nodded. "I guess I am ready for the doctors."

Teal'c rose and left to get Dr. Lam. I once more wondered if there was anything that I had in fact done, or if it was my imagination and wishful thinking. I certainly did not want my best friend to be lost. I did not want him to fade into the enemy without letting him know I loved him fiercely and forever.


	9. The Rocky Path to Enlightenment

"Well, after we made sure Sam was taken care of, we went over to the village to ask around. We found that quite a few of the villagers had already heard of the Ori and Origin, but had not been visited themselves. We can only guess that the Ori are using a new tactic," Cam said, shrugging. General Landry nodded slowly and looked around the table.

"You believe this could be a new way of converting? Convert by peers, and logic, instead of force?"

"I don't know, it's not a big departure from what has already been done," I said, spreading my hands over the folder. "However, I have to admit, there are some differences."

"Colonel, are you saying you think this new tactic is from Dr. Jackson?"

I met Landry's gaze. "He is not one to buy into the 'kill and convert later' theory."

"Agreed. What did the villagers say?"

"They said that the Ori have been promising to share more of their knowledge with the nonbelievers. The people are also saying that they can learn the history of Origin for themselves," Teal'c said.

"That's what I'm talking about!" Cam said, raising a fist. "If that's not Jackson trying to come out of his shell, I don't know what is!"

I smiled as he grinned at all of us. I couldn't help but think back to the... dream I had when I was in the infirmary. If Daniel was struggling to come back, was the hold of the Ori too much on him? Was he already gone? But with the news, something rekindled the flame of hope inside. He would return, _damn it_, and we would not leave anyone of ours behind. I looked up as Landry got up; I had missed the last part of the briefing again.

"You all have the day off; I suggest you all rest up. We have a very important Prior to catch in the morning," Landry said.

Cam leaned over to me as we walked to the elevators and said, "Kinda gives new meaning to 'VIP,' huh?"

I burst out laughing; the first laughter since Daniel had helped me up a rocky path and had brushed his hand over my ticklish spot. I closed my eyes as we entered the elevator. It seemed so long ago. It seemed so near. I told them that I wanted to lie down for a bit and would meet them in the commissary in an hour and half. I darted into my room and lay on top of my bed, letting my mind linger on the feeling of Daniel's hand brush my side as he lifted me up.

_"I don't know," I said, looking at the rocks. "My leg is still kinda tender where that bush whacked it."_

Daniel looked around, surveying the area. "I don't see any other path, Sam. Cam said he would wait for us; something about Vala needing to take another break. Here, let me grab your gear; that will lighten things."

I handed the pack to him and he scrambled up the rocks and placed it next to his. He came back down and stood beside me. "Ready? All you have to do is climb up; after that it's flat again."

Daniel crooked his head. "Well, yeah, but by then you may feel better, and if you don't then I'll help you get down." He raised his hand as if he was going to brush my cheek with his thumb but thought better of it and pushed a straggling tuff of hair behind my ear. How I wanted to grab his face and kiss him like he had on our picnic date. How I wanted to melt into him.

Wisely we pulled away and I began to climb up the rock. Daniel was beside me, making sure my leg wasn't going to give out. We were almost to the top when Daniel scrambled ahead and leaned over the rock to help me climb onto the flat ground. I lost my footing for a moment but then pushed to heave myself over the edge and sat beside Daniel for a moment to catch my breath.

"Oh, well, that wasn't so bad." I got up and picked up my pack. Daniel helped to fasten the buckles and we set off. We had to step over a few logs and I managed to lose my footing. Daniel's hands came shooting out and grabbed me on either side of my waist. I up-righted myself and felt Daniel's fingers involuntarily dig into my side and move up slightly, tickling me. I stifled a giggle.

"You okay?"

"First day with new legs, I guess," I said, smiling.

"Did I hurt you?"

"No, you just found my tickle spots."

Daniel's eyes widened slightly. "Oh. I'll keep that in mind." He said the last part quietly as he passed me. I think my eyes widened; keep that in mind? I laughed as I caught up to him.

"I think I can use that to my advantage. I know your weak spots, Sam. I know them all," Daniel said, suddenly looking at me through dead eyes. "I will break those I love, convert those who I deem worthy, and educate those who still do not believe. You are nothing," he hissed, as he reached out. "You, my love, are nothing more than something from the past... I can't keep you away from my mind, but I want to be true and faithful. I can't have you in my head, my beautiful Sam. There is too much hate in here now. Remember me like I was."

Daniel had his hand around my throat and had lifted me off the ground. I looked down at him, pleading to let me go. Tell me he was playing a sick, cruel, joke on me. His dead eyes flared with the searing heat of flames and I screamed as I looked away.


	10. Such Love and Devotion

I heard beeping machines and a hissing sound as I came out of my stupor. I looked around and saw that I was hooked up, again, to machines, except this time I also had a breathing mask on. Oh dear. I must have really had a doozy to get myself into the grips of the oxygen mask.

I closed my eyes and breathed in. I felt around for the 'panic' button and pressed. I heard footsteps come close and two nurses soon came into view. They fussed with the nearby machines and took the button out of my hand. They motioned to my face, and I began to nod. Yes, please take off the mask, please let me talk to someone. I felt a wave of sudden fear crash over me as they walked away, shaking their heads.

_"They can't hear you." _

"What? Why can't they hear me?"

_"You are gone to them, Sam."_

"No! I am right here! Nurse! Nurse!" I felt hot tears sting my face as I screamed louder and louder, and the darkness came thicker and thicker.

I looked away into the darkness, seeing the uselessness of my fighting. I saw nothing but the endless black.

_"Sam."_

I swung around. "Daniel?"

Two arms reached around me and pulled me back into the hard chest of Daniel. I felt his feather-light lips press to my temple as he breathed. _"Open your eyes."_

The scene before me was bright and happy. I searched my memory and couldn't remember ever being in a place like the one I saw before me. The walls were bright with the sun bouncing off the pale yellow. The cabinets were white washed and had small yellow knobs on them. The counter was butcher block and on it stood a vase of yellow flowers. "So beautiful."

"So, keeping you out of the kitchen was worth it?" Daniel asked, coming around me. "I know you aren't thrilled to have sawdust in the rest of the house, but you know, we are working on it."

I looked around and back at Daniel who had his sleeves rolled up and a bright smile on. "You did this for me?"

"For my favorite lady I'd do anything," Daniel said, stepping close and caressing my hair. I marveled in the lingering touch of his long fingers as they stroked my hair. I smiled lazily as he dipped his head and captured my lips. "I'd do anything."

I snaked my hand through his short hair and returned the kiss, deepening it. Oh how I longed to kiss him like that forever. I pulled back with a start. "This has never happened."

I saw a flicker of something in his clear blue eyes. "I know it's too good, but Sam, we have earned this. We have earned the few weeks off."

I placed a hand on his chest and shook my head. "No. This has never happened. This is something too real to have happened. You are using me. Oh, Gawd, you are using me!"

Daniel tried to grab my wrist as I pushed him and ran out the back door, down the sloping backyard, into the trees bordering the house. I ran, the trees became thicker, the slope became rockier and suddenly I was face to face with the same rocky path Daniel and I had climbed before he became a prior. I turned around, wishing for a gun in my hand.

"Would you really shoot your best friend?"

I whipped around and was face to face with Prior Daniel. "Yes."

"No hesitation. Interesting."

"I'd rather have him dead then have him be my enemy."

"Maybe it should be the other way around."

"No. He would die to protect others from himself. He can't do that, so I have to do that for him."

"You?" Prior Daniel asked with a grin. "And what makes you so special?"

"Because I love him. I love him so much. Any of the others would do the same really," I said, stepping back as he took another step toward me. "We all would protect Daniel from harming others. It's what he would want."

"And you decide because you love him."

"Yes."

"What if I don't destroy the body? What if I slowly eat at his brain, making him forget what it's like to hold your hand, see your face, kiss your lips," he said, hissing the words as he backed me against the wall.

"Then he wouldn't be the man I fell in love with. The man I love is strong. He would fight; he would fight until he died before that ever happened. He would sacrifice himself before hurting others."

"And your heart would bleed because he was gone, would it not? You would sacrifice what could have been for the grave?"

I closed my eyes. "Yes."

"Then his heart and mind can never be the Ori's. They cannot overcome such love and devotion. Wake up and find your life."


	11. Watched Over

"She ever gonna wake up or are we gonna have to wait for Prince Charming to _finally _kiss her?"

"Dr. Lam said she would be under for quite a few days. Her last episode took a great deal of strength from her body."

"She needs to have a bite of this cake; it's divine!"

"Will you shut up about the cake? Forcryinoutloud! There is a time for cake and a time for no cake. This is no cake time."

"She looks so peaceful."

"Yeah, well, Danny-boy, so does the dead. Look, all this gawking isn't getting her better. Let's clear the room before Dr. Lam throws us out."

"Reminds you of a certain other petite doctor, doesn't it Jack?"

"Indeed."

"I'm glad she's asleep. You don't think she hears us when we talk about putting a tattoo on her ankle, right?"


	12. Coming Back

I seemed to float in cool, calm water. It was perfect for the lazy tube rafting I used to do when I was younger. Dad and Mark would rig up several inner tubes and then we all would pile on, laughing and talking, floating down the nearest river. Sometimes when the weather was fine and the waters calm, we would meet with other tube rafters. I remember having my first "boys are cute" talk with another teenager as we floated along.

But now, now something disrupts the water, sloshes around me. I feel myself lifted, almost floating up into the sky. I don't want to be in the sky, I don't want to get too close to the sun. I find myself being drowned in blue, I watch the lazy puffy clouds sink to meet me, cradle me in the puffy whiteness.

_"Sam. Wake up, sweetie,"_ I hear in the distance. It's comforting and loving, I find myself longing to find it. _"Sam."_

I am lifted higher still, now among the stars, the same ones I have traveled among for the past 10 years; the same ones I wish to show my children someday. I watch as I go by space rocks and into the darkness. The emptiness of space is warm and inviting, but so is my final destination. I gasp in the air as it hits my lungs, clinging onto it as it pulls me back to the hospital bed, to the infirmary and to…

"Daniel?" I croak. I lick my lips and try again, this time my voice is less cracked.

He nods. "Yes, Sam. I'm here. I'm here and I will not leave, ever."

"Jackson, don't make a promise you can't keep," I heard Cam warn. I stared at Daniel as he nodded shyly.

"Well, I'll not leave unless I have to, or am forced to."

"Watch it, Carolyn has been known to throw out grown men before," Cam said, laughing.

"I'd like to see her try," Daniel muttered. He continued to talk to Cam as I blinked, more and more alert. I pushed the oxygen mask off and took in a shaky breath. Cam and Daniel were still debating whether or not Dr. Lam could throw out a grown man. I lifted my arms up and grabbed Daniel by the lapels and yanked him down.

His shock helped propel him down and I crushed my lips onto his. Slow, tender kisses could wait; I had waited three months to have him before me and I wasn't going to let him go. Rational Sam left the building and Emotional Sam entered front and center. All I wanted was to have him in my arms, where I knew he was safe for a while.

"I think I will stall the doc," Cam said, or at least I think that's what he said. All I remember was Daniel snaking his arms around me, hugging me fiercely.

"Thank you, Sam."

"For what," I asked, pulling back a little.

"I made a part of me inaccessible to the Ori, when I was made a Prior and hoped it was strong enough. When I saw the team and they said you were in a deep coma and had been for over a week, I felt the hope and fear grow and I was able to see again." Daniel sighed, stroking my hair. "You were my anchor, your faith in me, your love. I need to have you by my side, or near me. I need to know you will be okay. I was able to battle the Ori grip because of you."

"I felt you; I felt like we were reaching out," I whispered.

"We have a deep bond, Sam, one made only deeper now that we admit that we love each other. Please forgive me, Sam. I never meant to make you worry."

"It's better now that I know you are here … really here," I said, placing my head on his chest. "Did your experiment succeed at least?"

"As soon as you are well and cleared we are going to start using the Ori knowledge for ourselves."

"Good," I said, feeling sleep wash over me. "Good."


	13. About Us

Vala turned to me as Daniel finished his lecture. "I see why he appeals to you." I raised an eyebrow, asking for an explanation the remark. "He is long winded. I would have slept through it had Cam not been kicking the back of my chair."

I nodded and smiled. I put my pencil down, and studied my notepad, almost as full of notes as Vala's of doodles. I watched as Daniel took his seat and Colonel Gibbins got up and address the SG-teams that were assembled. I wrote a quick note to Daniel and passed it to him.

He chuckled softly and wrote something back. I turned and grinned at him, glad to have my best friend back. It was still another hour before the briefing concluded, and I was busy chatting with Daniel to notice a few of the men in suits standing by. Daniel's gaze shifted and caused me to look where he was looking.

"Colonel Carter," one of the men started. "I'm sorry for not letting you mount a rescue mission earlier. We had to evaluate the threat first, and it got in the way of rescuing one of your teammates."

I looked at him. "You know, it all worked out in the end. We found Daniel, we got him back, still with no help from your office, I might add, and we have intel that we otherwise wouldn't have had." I glanced at my watch before fixing my gaze once more on the man. "Now if you'd excuse me, my teammate and I have a lunch date to catch up on."

Daniel looped his arm in mine as we left the men standing in the hall, other SG members scooting around them. I smiled up at Daniel as the elevators closed.

"You mean it?"

"Yes."

I smiled broader; Daniel was going to take me on a date – a real date – and we would talk, about everything like always. But at the end of my note, Daniel had said the most important topic of all was the one that I had always wanted to discuss but was too afraid to approach: _US._

And that alone made the nightmares and losing Daniel all worth it.


End file.
